Anniversary's...Good and Bad

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  Posted by Tweek October 11, 2012 - Filed in Personal Journal - 1,365 views
  

  So, in a few days, I'll celebrate bein' a Cycle "Fishy" (or Fishette,lol) for two years.  Sweet.  Good one. No comparison, other than coming to Christ, as far as makin' new friends, is concerned.

  And, in few more days after that, I'll celebrate the anniversary of my "clean" date.  10/27/08.  FOUR YEARS.  Another, albeit more special (to me) date. 

  It all coincides for me.  I was happy to get clean, happier to find Jesus, again, and happier still, to know that there are people in this world, who make the whole trip worth the ride.  You see, I'd kinda forgotten that.  So mired in the drugs, so mired in the self-pity, so mired in the B.S. ...and after losin' "Blue", (my bike), for reasons beyond any of my control, I'd really forgotten, that there IS more to life, than just the ride. And then, I met a man.  And replaced one or two addictions, with another...

  When you base your whole life on ONE thing, you forget what's really important.  I know that, as sure as I'm sittin' here...and yet, I'm dealin' with another Anniversary comin' up, and it's startin' to kick my ass, already.  For those that know, enuf said.

    For those that don't...well let's just say, Thanksgivin' is gonna be HARD for me this year.  How does one find THANKS, for a life, you didn't have any say so, in makin' happen?  Yet, still, God covered me.  And I thank HIM, for that. Cause sure as shootin', if it weren't for HIM, and a very FEW others, I might not be here, at all.  This has been the hardest, most gut-wrenching time in my life, to date.  And while everyone who means well, keeps tellin' me to just "move on", I find it a very hard pill to swallow.  It has chained me, to a thing I can't even name.  I've asked God to take this so many tmes, I think even HE'S tired of me.  I know better than that, of course.  But thinkin' this thru, is gonna take more time.  And it really don't help, when I get a new "picture" (really) of a life, I had absolutely, no contribution in.  On the contrary, it was something, virtue of my age, that I could'nt possibly, even contemplate, anymore.  And he was "fine" with that, so he said.  Obviously, NOT!!! 

  So, yes, there are some "good" Anniversaries.  But, there are also HARD one's.  And for those of you, who may be faced, with an Anniversary, that is hard?  I'd just like to say one thing...

   

  THIS TOO SHALL PASS! 

   

  And we'll ALL, get thru them together, eh? 

   

  Ride Free 

  Tweek