March 7, 2012 2:45 AM PST
Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub drinking and talking. The first man says: I give up. I try to sneak into the house, I open the door quietly, tip toe upstairs, take my clothes off and quietly put them on the chair, and slowly get into bed, but my wife always wakes up and yells at me for drinking. The second man says: You're doing it wrong. When you get home slam the front door, stomp up the stairs, take your clothes off, throw them across the room, jump in bed, slap your wife on the ass and ask her if she'd like some tail. Nine times out of ten she'll pretend to be asleep.
