September 27, 2012 1:17 PM PDT
Somebody post something, we need some laughs
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer.
October 8, 2012 3:17 AM PDT
Yep, thanx for sharing...
October 8, 2012 4:22 AM PDT
I thought I would test my bounderies so I sent this joke to my Aunt who is quite religious and has actually met the pope.
She actually loved it, thought it was very funny.
Thx for sharing.
October 10, 2012 11:58 AM PDT
Jews do not recognize the divinity of Jesus.
Protestants do not recognize the authority of the Pope.
Southern Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store
October 10, 2012 1:01 PM PDT
Had to share that one. Might lose a few of my FB friends over it. oh well.............
October 10, 2012 2:56 PM PDT
And of course, while we are picking on Baptists:
Q. Why don't Baptists make love in the standing position?
A. People might think they are dancing.
October 10, 2012 3:30 PM PDT
I'm Southern Baptist, but I think it's funny.
October 11, 2012 2:20 AM PDT
Guy was hanging off a cliff by one arm with a 1000ft drop below him..... desperate for help he screams.
"help me, is there anyone up there?"
A deep voice calls.. " I am the lord your God, have faith in me and let go, I will save you !"
Guy goes......... " is there anyone else up there ?"
October 11, 2012 7:38 AM PDT
A religious man was hunting and a bear attacked him.
He screamed "God Help Me!"
Everything stopped and God said "You have one wish, what is it?"
The guy thought and replied 'Make this bear a Believer, so I can speak to him about not eating me!"
"Done" came the word from above.
The bear stopped his attack, placed his monstrous paws together and spoke.
"Lord, thank you for this meal you have delivered to me, Amen."
October 11, 2012 6:30 PM PDT
Do you how to keep a babtist from drinking your beer? You invite a second babtist.
